RAWK ON!!!

Here is a sampling of the gaming goodness that is Rock Band. This crazy sonofabitch has a whole line of his sheer p'wnage of the game on expert. I have beaten the game on hard AND I USED TO PLAY DRUMS! I lasted about a minute and a half at what he clearly has the chops for. Props to this crazy bastard. For the uninitiated... each block corresponds to a drum head. Red, yellow, blue, and green. The solid orange line is the bass drum (there is a pedal.) The long colored lines are drum fills that let you play what you want for bonus power (if you hit the green note at the end- the high hat.) I'll let the video do the rest... Maestro please...

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

Here is a little holiday cheer for you this new year's eve. Be safe you bunch of crazy bastards... Paul Gilbert FTW!!!

McNamee to Clemens: FUCK YOU!

It seems that there are only two things in this world that the Roidcket cares about: his money and an untarnished entrance into Cooperstown. Loyalty is something foreign to the man and it comes as no surprise that the man partially responsible for Clemens' miraculous chemically induced comeback is getting thrown under the same bus as the Astros and Red Sox. Roger is about Roger. Bottom line. That is why he is clawing for his reputation like Floyd Landis and we all remember how that turned out. But, wait...his former needle jockey is about to break his dick off in #22's funky ass. From Astros.com HOUSTON -- Brian McNamee, Roger Clemens' former trainer, has added another attorney to his legal team and could file a defamation suit against the seven-time Cy Young Award winner, according to The New York Times in its Saturday edition. "He is afraid that his character is going to be assassinated on national television and that Roger is going to continue to lie and trash him," Ward said to the Times. "If that airs, Clemens should be prepared to see the matter litigated in the courts. We would file the suit to establish that Brian is not lying." Oh man this is gonna get good. It won't reach the same epic heights of the Isiah Thomas lawsuit but who knows? J

Now if we can just get G 'N' R back together

It does make me sad to live in a world where a song as epic as "I'm Not Like Everybody Else" is used in HP commercials targeted at the Patrick Batemen's of the world but this news almost makes up for it. Anywhere they play in Texas, there I shall be. The Kinks are planning to follow in the footsteps of rockers Led Zeppelin with a highly anticipated reunion next year. Lead singer and guitarist Ray Davies said the band's original members, which included Davies' brother Dave on guitar, Mick Avory on drums and Pete Quaife on bass plan to play together for the first time in nearly four decades in 2008. Davies, 63, said a full reunion is on the cards next year for the first time in almost 40 years. Oh yeah. J

Lords of FUCKING Altamont

When doing the first half of my year in 2008 preview I briefly got retarded, thought that Joe Simpson and Lynn Spears were prime examples of perfect parenting and forgot that the Lords of Altamont are dropping an album next month. If you've never heard this earsplitting, fuzzed out, Farfisa drenched gift to rock 'n' roll then just check out the below video. Your welcome. J Live Fast, Die Young

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SEPTEMBER

I'm going back to Fenway to watch the Yankees lose. 8BitChris will be there with me to wreck the bars. This is gonna rule.

Shoplifters of the World UNITE...to Improve Your Tastes

Apparently the sections that are most often victimized by shoplifters at work are: Manga Rap Religion and Sex
Yeah, it's pretty fucking obvious that the shoplifters of the world (this is based on corporate's study, after all) are idiotic scumbags who have no taste in media. At some point in time I understood stealing some porn but with the glory that is RedTube I fail to see the reason behind knicking a kama sutra book. Anyone with a chick cool enough to bust some of those positions (and I've had a couple. Thanks to my sis, by the way, for purchasing me a copy and to the 90 pound Irish girl who made some of the more physically improbable acts possible) would proudly walk the book up to the registers and never think to ask for a gift reciept. Manga? Well, I have no answer for that. I guess it's just people who dig the genre not wanting to admit they are losers for liking shitty versions of graphic novels. And religion is actually a shocker. The Bible is probably the most pilfered book known to man. If Joel Osteen was really a man of Bog (he is not but props to the asshole for creating the tax shelter by dropping "Jesus" every other millionth word) he would spend the collection plate to distribute his His tome to everyone who was curious. It's the rap section that troubles me. I love hip-hop but most of the people who swipe discs from the rap section are total fucking prats who I am actually glad are robbing from the labels that unleash audio cancer like Soulja Boy Tellum and 50 Cent onto the masses. I have never seen a sketch person spend 10 hours digging through the Jazz or Folk section (which are only slightly larger than the Rap one, which is about as wide as me laying down) with two friends getting their back. And if the thiefs were trying to steal something like It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back, First Come First Served or even Check Your Head or the motherfucking CHRONIC I would happily turn the other way. But no, these dipshits want the Game's new album like it's the Gospel of modern music. And these guys aren't some Jean Valjean type motherfuckers desperate for a disc like they're a bum starving for an apple core. They're dickheads decked out in top fashion gear, trying to steal a record physically instead of doing it the smart way via the internet. I understand not everyone has a computer but can't these fucktards at least burn "Curtis" at the library and not make me waste my time watching their sorry selves for an hour until they remove the security sticker and stuff the product down their pants? Fuck it, all shoplifters come and talk to me, tell me what you want and I will not only burn that shit for you FOR FREE but will give you 10 additional discs filled with shit you should be listening to. Let's see how corporate responds to that idea! At least they'll dig on how I jooked the "loss prevention" stats in their favor.