The Roidcket's Lawyer has a Good Memory

Prop's to Black Nathan for pointing this out.
You remember back when Bubba (aka Bill Clinton) almost got impeached for shooting a load onto an interns dress? And do you also remember how she kept the dress, in triple-super-duper-strong mylar packaging to preserve the Presidential seal of approval on her blow job skills? Now, do you ALSO remember a lot of people thought the chick was batshit crazy and a lunatic for keeping the dress?
Lanny Breuer does. The motherfucker HAS to since that's the same line he gave on Concubine Clinton back in the late 90's. It's nice to know that he hasn't changed his stance on the whole stowing evidence thing.
"Brian McNamee is obviously a troubled man who is obsessed with doing everything possible to destroy Roger Clemens," Breuer said in a statement, adding that McNamee had lied to baseball and government investigators and "now he apparently has manufactured evidence."
But wait, how did that whole cumstain on the Gap dress turn out? Now I'd like to pass the mic..."If Roger Clemens' DNA is on that used needle, that's the functional equivalent of the little blue dress in the Monica Lewinsky case that forced Bill Clinton to admit his affair," former federal prosecutor Brian Lysaght said.
Whether this turns out the same way, remains to be seen but at least we have our FIRST consistent line of argumentation from the Clemens camp.

The Bro-mance is Over

Andy Pettitte is making strides to further distance himself from former boyfriend Roger Clemens. From New York Newsday
Andy Pettitte is said by friends to be upset with Roger Clemens because of Clemens' aggressive defense to the charges leveled against him in the Mitchell Report. Most of all, Pettitte didn't care for Clemens' public airing of his taped phone call with accuser Brian McNamee, which accomplished little. Among its many unexpected consequences, the Mitchell Report has magnified just how different Clemens and Pettitte are. And with the two men set to share a table at Capitol Hill's Rayburn Hall next month, it's as good a time as any to point out that this supposed mentor-protege's relationship has been overblown by the media - with this space as guilty as anyone else. "They were never as close as they were made out to be," a friend of both said on the condition of anonymity. "They just sort of went along with it in the media, because it was a good story."
Pettitte taking a hardline stance here makes me hate him just a little less (hey, he's still wearing pinstripes). Of course, this now confirms what we ALL new the whole time: the lefty from Deer Park was the bitch in the relationship. However, when a new HEB offer comes up he might stop being all hurt pussy about the whole Mitchell Report fiasco and smile for the cameras once again.

Houston. We have a problem. Well...kinda.

If you are like me and any other baseball purist altruistic fan alive, you are waiting for The Rocket to stop orbiting and come back down to earth to actually hold a press conference and quit speaking through his lawyer. I understand that you state that you never did ANY performance enhancing drugs in your entire career. HGH? Nope. Steroids? Nope. Anabolic enhancers? Nope. That is where I have a problem. That last ones is perfectly legal. Nothing wrong with them. You can get them at GNC. I got some from the gym the other day. You are 46 years old- you have to be doing SOMETHING. People your age should not be throwing that fast anymore. Nolan Ryan couldn't then and I still favor him over you any day. He was just not loved on the national stage because he came off as an ignorant Texas hick who threw at players, and in turn was not embraced by the media. Ask anyone who knows anything about pitching and the Astros in the city of Houston. He did more for this city than you ever did in your now suspect stint. He got shafted here in Houston because the management at the time saw their future in Mike Scott and the team made it look like Ryan was the bad guy, so it never set right with most of us. You went back to where you could get a ring and go out on top. How did that work out for ya? Shilling and Paps say "hi." Anyhow- I digress. Yeah, yeah... I heard you the first time Roger (or should I say Rusty,) in 25 years in the media and spotlight- you don't see how we, the public, are not giving you the benefit of the doubt. Well welcome to the world of Barry Bonds. It was all speculation, hearsay, and a noticeable cranial increase until now with him. Now the two of you are captain and first mate on the Good Ship Lollypopaneedleinmyass. Granted he is a self centered, bigoted ass that had no problem thinking that the baseball world revolved around him (and the coverage did not help,) and his pursuit of breaking the most coveted record in the game. A record which the media -I'm looking at you ESPN- and the casual fan base that picked up after the strike with the Sosa/ McGuire home run race was MADE into the most coveted record. I still think Rose's all time hits record is something that will stand the test of time. And we just witnessed what will likely be the last 300 game winner in baseball in Glavine. Guys are bigger now. They hit the ball further, juice or not. It was inevitable. Mr. Metero A-Rod will more than likely be the next to do it. Then someone who just entered the league *cough*Ryan Howard*cough* or someone coming in will break it after that. But don't get me started on records... Well Bonds did it. And the baseball world moved on... Congr*ul*tions B*rry! The Bean Town Boys won another series, Paps' dog ate the ball (what is it with Sox players and the damn balls from the last game? It is not like they have a lot of those laying around. You'd think they'd be a little "special." I couldn't even get my dog to eat my homework, much less a baseball. Then all you hear is this geriatric, gender switched, Brady Bunch chant coming from the media. MITCHELL, MITCHELL, MITCHELL. And BAM, POW, Batman style- there it is. A list of players who allegedly did steroids and other performance enhancing drugs. And there you are at the top of the list. Along with your boy Andy. It did not take Andy long to own up. He did HGH for two days to help recover from an injury. Seems as though he felt pretty bad about it. He's signed with the pinstripes for next year. You on the other hand? Not so much. Perhaps you are orbiting Rocket because you have to get all your ducks in a row before you can land and defuse the situation publicly yourself. Don't want to say anything that could ruin your chances to come back to the game with a contract that breaks down to a quarter of a million a pitch right? Well it is getting a little old. I understand that you have until May of next year to decide if you are going to come back to start all of eight games for whichever "lucky" squad may land you- but you don't have that long with us. Will we get in a frenzy and go all Joe Horn and protest in your front yard? Probably not. We will just stop caring. My breath is far from baited. I have plenty to keep up with. Two words: Ron Mexico. That has been fun. I've got a Pats perfect season to follow. Watching my Cowboys (T.O. vs. Jessica in a thong only Jello fight. Anyone? Ok- maybe I am alone on that one.) I have more bowl games to keep up with than I can shake a stick at (although I want a playoff system. The smaller schools can do it? What? Are they not as academic as a Miami? Come on now.) March Madness. There is plenty to keep the sports world abuzz. I am just getting tired of the lead being your smug ass speaking through Rusty Hardin (not to knock the man. My wife says he is a great guy...) just to tell us that you have nothing to say. I am a fan of the sport. Before there was 'roids, there was speed. Before there was speed, it was booze. There has always been something in the game that has tarnished the legends and lifestyles of those that had played it. Ruth was a womanizing drunk. Ty Cobb was a bigoted drug addict. Daryl Strawberry should of switched to Pepsi. Pete Rose bet on the game. But in the end, it is just a game. Weather you cheated or not, that is for you to own up to. But the longer you wait the worse it looks. I saw a list of the top 100 greatest Americans in history the other day. If a slave owning Thomas Jefferson can be the fourth greatest American that ever lived, I think we can forgive you for sticking a needle in your ass to help you throw a ball a little faster in a game that you get paid ridiculously to entertain us at. Weather you did or not. Just sayin'.