Monday, September 21, 2009

As if the World Needed Another Reason to Loathe Muse

The shitty sub-gay bar music wasn't enough. Being the musical soundtrack to the mormon warthog's intollerable novels wasn't enough. Acting like pretentious assholes, their wanna-be Queen styled American Idiot that is their new album (I would rather dip my cock in the acidic vag belonging to Paris Hilton than have to suffer that audio bile again) it all has brought the most overrated, dull band since the Strokes to their pinacle of douchedom.
Usage should have a value. Someone who just checks email uses minimal bandwidth, but someone who downloads 1GB per day uses way more, but at the moment they pay the same. It is clear which user is hitting the creative industries and it is clear which user is not, so for this reason, usage should also be priced accordingly. The end result will be a taxed, monitored ISP based on usage which will ensure both the freedom of the consumer and the rights of the artists.
Yes, Matt Bellamy, wants to charge people more for the internet for downloading shit whether or not it is done legally. He assumes that just because you use more bandwith than your fucking grandma who checks her gmail account hourly waiting to find out if you still aknoweledge her existence that you must be ripping off "artists."
And let's not forget this is coming from some shitbird who is on a major label that funds his little vanity albums and rakes in cash on tours and record sales. Why else would you release two different versions of the same goddamned album only to include bonus features if not to milk your herd of Spin reading sheep for all the cash they got.
Illegal downloading isn't gonna stop and that really does suck for the people who can't get paid for the music, movies, comics, books, bukkake they create but for years it has been known that the CD is dead and no artist (well, at least not spoiled fucking tards with a major label payroll at their disposal) makes their primary dollars off of a physical release.
Think of it like this: Radiohead or Saul Williams or Nine Inch Nails drops another free album. If Matt Bellamy gets his way you'd be taxed for taking something that was given away. Or how about all that extra content on websites for bands and movies that put up shit for you to download to your hard drive? Or say you're a gamer who spends and unhealthy and ungodly ammount of time prepping your Warcraft raid parties? Yup, bitch, you get taxed too cause it's impossible for this cretin to comprehend that someone is using a massive load of bandwith for something legal. In that respect you are being punished for "hitting the creative industries" who are begging for your bandwith just because this limey fuck has hurt pussy because his latest shit sandwich leaked and no one wants to buy it. It's not that they don't want to give you the money, Matt. It's just that they listened to that weak as fuck wanna be political piece of shit called The Uprising and decided it was too lame to even put onto their iPods.
But let's entertain this idiocy for a little longer. Okay, let's codify this into law and starting collecting this tax. How do we distribute it? How do we figure out who has been robbed the most and therefore should recieve the largest pay day? Yeah, you obviously didn't realize that this tax would kickback to the labels who still don't pay you shit and whom you still do not rely on mainly for your income. Or that there is no goddamned way to distribute this equitably to artists who lose 10 album sales because of a leak. And way to punish young, unsigned or independent bands that DEPEND on people downloading their shit from MySpace and their websites so they can come out to shows and buy merch by making their only means of marketing taxable on their fans but never payable to the band themselves.
In short, get fucked and pull your head out of your ass. Hopefully, then you realize you need to get the fuck over yourself and your shitty band.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Get Ready for the Biggest Musical Trainwreck of the Year!

Holy fucking shit. Seriously, sweet titty fucking christ I cannot believe what I just read. From the Daily Swarm:
“I recorded five joints for Michael Jackson,” [R.] Kelly said, as we sat in the intimate recording studio nestled in the basement of his Chicago mansion. “This studio here is where Michael recorded. And we had been talking on the phone about his new album, and I was going to finish what Michael was doing at the time. We’re going to get it out though. Michael liked the way I would try to sing the songs just like him.”
So, not only do we get to experience Captain EO's Chinese Democracy (which I recently proclaimed wouldn't happen. My bad.) but kid toucher/pisser R. Kelly is going to be completing it? I haven't been this stoked on failure since Sarah Palin. Anyone expecting a new MJ album to be even remotely listenable needs to pull their head outta their ass and face reality.
And let's not forget that this isn't "I Believe I Can Fly" R. Kelly at the helm. Oh no. This is batshit fucking nuts post-AIDS opera R. Kelly. He's the fucking Tommy Wiseau of R & B. We all know homeboy was dead fucking serious when he started "Trapped in Closet" and then realized we were all laughing at him and tried to play it off like it was his intention all along. In fact, he's still continuing on in that vein.

Worlds of suck are about to collide and the only one who can be legitamately excited about this impending shit sandwich is Joe Jackson who is already counting his dollars.