Friday, September 5, 2008

This is Not a Joke: Thank You Twihard Fans!

Sometimes, we all win.
Stephanie Meyer, the tween Mormon vampire teen queen whose Twilight series is radically anti-feminist and illogical (check the archives for more full rant on this bitch), is already so tired of having to come up with new stories and characters that she decided to re-write Twilight from another character's point of view. Yawn.
What faith she must have in her skills as a storyteller after her lastest book was loathed by her fans and her grown up book was a best seller but didn't set anyones pants on fire and surely didn't convince any that she is anything but an attrocious writer. Like I've said in the past, popularity and sales don't equal quality. Hitler had almost an entire nation down with his prose and was a positive thing in the end? Didn't think so.
While working on this lazy re-tread it turns out the thing got leaked. Meh. But, oh wait...what is this?
I think it is important for everybody to understand that what happened was a huge violation of my rights as an author, not to mention me as a human being.
Okay, this whole violation as an author thing really is a bunch of bullshit. Everyone who would want to read your poorly written vamp-romance for 12 year old goth chicks already knows what the fuck is going to happen in the book. It's not a big deal to re-write it from another character's perspective because the exact same fucking events and results will occur once again.
Now, for this whole human rights violation? Fuck you, move to China and then cry to me. Oh and by the way, I really hope someone does truly violate you as a human being. That is lightest form of penance I can prescribe to you after encouraging a generation of girls to be slaves to their dreamboats and that despite certain risks (hey, you did touch on death as a real consequence in your books) it is all gonna be okay and it will all be worth it cause you got your hunk!
And how about another nugget of wisdom:
I'd rather my fans not read this version of Midnight Sun. It was only an incomplete draft; the writing is messy and flawed and full of mistakes. Honey, that describes your writing in its PUBLISHED and EDITED form. Don't think this is anything personal, okay? Even shittons of Twihard fans openly admit she is a lously writer.
And it is them I would like to thank today for making sure this cunt can't profit anymore off of this Suzy Homemaker with vampires bullshit. For that, I give you a days head start before I unleash the hounds.

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