Sunday, August 9, 2009

Today, I Wish Cancer Upon Sean Gregory

Fuck you Time Magazine. Working in retail is shitty enough and my fellow worker bees and I already deal with loads of cheap ass fucktards but you had to go ahead and encourage them, didn't you? Sean Gregory recently published this article and I hope his magazine folds and he has to work with me for a week or two and experience the horrible treatment retail workers are receiving because of lines like this: Since retailers can't afford to lose you these days, no demand is too peculiar. Fuck off and die.
Sean, let me give you a little info. The company I work for is on the ropes and sure we can't afford to lose customers but we also can't afford to cave in to the incredible demands cheap assholes who have more than enough money to pay the list price. Here is an example. We recently had a promotion that was good IN STORE ONLY. No special orders, not good on the website just shit that our company stocks IN STORES. I get a phone call inquiring about a book that our stores DO NOT STOCK and the guy keeps haggling with me about how I can circumvent the rules so he can score the discount. I keep telling him there is no way and eventually he gets pissed off that I can't even order the book for him (without pre-paying) then let him pick it up and redeem the offer way after the deal has passed. He hung up on me after 20 minutes of whining and saying, "Maybe your manager could do something for me." No, he couldn't, cause it was me! Oh and during this whole ordeal a group of customers waiting for my assistance walked off in frustration. Yeah, you're gung-ho attitude on haggling distracts staff from people who are more than content to buy shit at the list price and supervisors who have more important things to do than tell the customer, "No," again after the staff have already refused their request. Way to make us lose money, dickpig!
And if you are wondering why it would've been so difficult or bad for me to just order the goddamned book and let El Cheapo redeem his discount...we LOSE money on the deal. Yeah, when we special order something (which I cannot even do anymore) the customer pays for it and we break even. When we allow someone to break the rule we LOSE money on the transaction. And if we let all your little deal shoppers out there in on the gig, then the company would go under and a shitload of people would be unemployed just so you could save motherfucking sales tax on your purchase. Does that make you feel better, Mr. Gregory?
Yeah, I know times are tough and sure if you find expired meat and wanna buy it and risk shitting your colon out for a month just for the discount then that's awesome. But getting people pumped up to go out try to force retailers to price match (that's what Walmart is for, buddy) or redeem an internet offer (here's a clue, you want it at the price listed on the net THEN FUCKING BUY IT ON THE NET) means your just making all of our lives more miserable. The customers are already nasty, crude, uncaring and cheap enough that they don't need the encouragement from some asshole who couldn't find a better story to cover. DIE.

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