Commie Hilfiger is Going on Tour!

Okay, so it's three dates across the great state of Texas but if Mike Ness gets to claim 10 dates in two cities 20 miles apart from one another as a tour, I am allowed to do the same. Deal with it.

You're favorite Communist Action Comedy Punk Superstars will be spreading their love of Yugo's, Vodka and breadlines (in that order) with the fine people of San Antonio, San Marcos and Austin. It's gonna be rad! You're guaranteed to experience the warm, pulsing, and rapturous sensations of the People's Perestroika Party in your pants when you see these glasnost loving Gulag survivors bust this dance out.

(ladies and gents: not safe for your undergarments)

The dates are as follows, fellow children of the revolution:

Friday, April 27th San Antonio @ Boneshakers w/ Jackson & Co./Poor Favor

Saturday, April 28th San Marcos @ Mr. Fest 2012 w/ Neon Cobra & otherbands

Sunday, April 29th Austin @ Red 7 (naturally) w/ Neon Cobra/Capitalist Kids/Lazers

If that ain't enough to peak your interest you can check out my review of their debut, My Car Keeps Stalin here. And speaking of me, I'll be heading out with the band to get punched at the merch booth by the Tea Party set (seriously, you cannot comprehend the stupidity that resulted from the Free Press Summer Fest faux-protest). HIGH FIVES, MOTHERFUCKERS! So, with that casual revelation aside, you can expect to see a "tour diary" of sorts once I decompress. And I'll be tweeting updates from the road (@jaydebauchery) because I am the poster child for the ADD generation. These cats are too afraid to fuck with Twitter after what happened to Pussy Riot and those comrades didn't even communicate via phone!.

Alas, as joyous as this news is, there is some sadness to report.

Jay Guevara took a hiatus from the group to construct a banana boat from his beloved left-handed Les Paul's for a pilgrimage back to Cuba so he might piss on Fidel Castro's grave. He was informed that Castro was still kicking but reasoned that he'd arrive just after the funeral once he floated in from Miami. Since setting sail in the early winter with only a case of rum and a burlap sack full of jerked carne de burro, Jay has not been heard from since. And Yugo Fuckyourself was returning from a General Assembly at Occupy Houston in Tinsley Park when his Yugo was blown off of I-45 and into the bayou below by a 30 mph gust of wind. Upon hitting the water, the car mysteriously exploded.

After much soul searching, the group was able to recruit two new members to N.A.A.C.C.C.P. and will be debuting the talents of Vlad the Inhaler and Ivan Strokenov during this tour. Please welcome them warmly with bottles of Monopolowa (real comrades drink Potato vodka) and the complete volumes of Marx's Das Kapital. The rest of the band are so excited about these additions they've been perfecting their commiekakke at band practice!

So get ready, Texas! The revolution is coming...

Here's the band performing the title track from their album in Lafayette, Louisiana.