Thursday, July 3, 2008

On the Eve Before July 4th, THIS Will Make You Proud to Be an American

Look, I've got nothing against middle-aged cross-dressing pop stars. I, for one, think Gary Glitter doing a tour with Hannah Montana would be nothing short of exhilirating. But, Boy George? Really, people? Has our nostalgia for the shitty pop anthemns of our youth led us to actually caring about experiencing "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?" with similar, disaffected, mired in mid-life crisis, losers? Thankfully, good ol' Uncle Sam stepped in to save you all from blowing 100 bucks at the local mid-level venue.
The Culture Club singer, whose given name is George O'Dowd, has canceled his summer plans after U.S. authorities denied him a visa to enter the country.
O'Dowd, 47, had planned to officially kick off his 25-city tour in Aspen, Colo., on July 10, and was to throw in a free concert at the New York City Department of Sanitation's Family Day in August. He worked for the department in 2006 while performing court-ordered community service in a drug case.
That didn't appear possible, though, when last week O'Dowd's managers issued a statement saying he had been refused a visa because he's awaiting trial in London on charges that he falsely imprisoned a man. The Sun newspaper reported in April that a 28-year-old man claimed he was chained and threatened at O'Dowd's London flat, where he had gone to work as a photo model.

America! FUCK YEAH! Wait, what the fuck was that? He chained some dude up in a (assumedly) S & M torture dungeon? Whoah! Maybe he and Gary need to hit the road together instead! The chronicles of that debauchery would be epic. And maybe, just for old times sake, Boy George could stop by to fuck Gavin Rossdale in front of Gwen Steffani while "Holla Back Girl" is playing in the background. Sweet titty fucking christ, I think I just wrote David Lynch's next movie! Shit. I just gotta figure out how to wedge in a midget and a Kyle MacLachlan ass shot in there.
Seriously, if there is anyone who was from the UK, came to prominence in the 80's and like crossing genders I could give two shits about if they toured again, it would be Genesis P. Orridge. That shit needs to happen.

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