Thursday, November 29, 2007
The Finest Cinematic Performances in Punk Rock History
No one is ever happy with their success as a musician. It’s an unfortunate truth that we see everyday with the constant barrage of rockers, rappers, country stars and the occasional crooner trying to extend their talents to the art of acting. Sure it can be pretty amusing and some of these people ain’t too bad but I guarantee you they won’t be interviewed by James Lipton in this lifetime. What I find the most entertaining out of the whole pack are the old punk rockers from the 70’s and 80’s who’ve taken a stab at the silver screen. Therefore, get ready for the greatest cinematic performances from punk rock actors. Lee Ving of Fear in Flashdance I could’ve chosen the composer of the romantic ballad “Beef Bologna” for his work as Mr. Body in Clue but…FLASHDANCE? Lee Ving playing a sleazy 80’s club owner trying desperately to get into Jennifer Beal’s leotard is both funny and weird. After all, Lee Ving insulted a Saturday Night Live audience for about five minutes (John Belushi got them on the show) before exploding into a rock ‘n’ roll riot with loads of kids slamming into each other and stage diving. He then proceeded to viciously trash Ronald Reagan and his supporters to a barrage of boos and played “Let’s Have a War.” All of those cool points instantly vanished because of Flashdance. John Doe of X in Road House It’s funny that a skimpy porn-stache was all it took to make X front man John Doe look like a total sleazebag in mullet-fu opus Road House. He played the bartender who got kicked the hell out of a window via a Patrick Swayze round house kick and later would morbidly thrust his pelvis while firing off a shot gun. Still, as horrible as his participation in the project was it cannot diminish the awesome genius of “Adult Books” or “The World’s a Mess it’s in my Kiss.” David Johansen of the New York Dolls in Scrooged I struggled with this choice. Davie Jo has been in loads of stuff and it was hard to decide to include his turn as the ghost cabby in Scrooged or when he got shived by Nazi’s on an episode of Oz. The scariest part about the former Buster Poindexter as the demented cab driver in the holiday flick was that he looked a lot less scary in that make up than he did when he was all tarted up in the Dolls. Wendy O. Williams of the Plasmatics in a Porno Okay, Wendy was a truly remarkable front woman whether she was belting out songs about maggots, smashing T.V.’s and buses, or being the only chick to ever look sexy with a 2 foot Mohawk. Her career took a dark turn towards the end of her life (she committed suicide) but we can all get a giggle out of this underground classic. Do you remember that joke in the South Park Movie about Winona Ryder’s “ping-pong” trick? Yeah, Wendy does it for real.