Look, she banged Derek Jeter. 'Nuff said. Now she has unleashed an unholy album of Tom Waits covers. YES, THAT TOM WAITS. It's just unforgivable. I guess this is what current MILF's who were into music felt when they heard "She's Like the Wind" or Don Johnson's record. Goddamn, this bitch really must not understand that Waits' voice is more essential to the songs than the music itself. This should be understood from his minimalism in the studio. Scarlett thought it would be cool to get a bunch of hipster looking studio rats to over-produce the fuck out of the tune. Hon, Zoey Deschanel has got a pretty decent voice and it's miles beyond yours. This should've been your first hint that this little vanity project was a wretched, ill thought, idea.
Let's have a comparison and, dear, few, readers, I appologize for subjecting you to this.
Now for the mouthwash.