You know we all love you and you might even remember that whole "Big Puma thing ain't gonna happen" post I made a few months back. Well, we've got an offer for you. Initially, after seeing you rip to shreds just about anything in the strike zone (regardless of what side of the plate you were hitting from) I started to feel that you had the right to call yourself whatever the fuck you want. If you suddenly felt that "Long Dong Slugger" should be your knew nickname then, that was aces with me. But then, after having a conversation with Black Nathan and few others last night we had a realization. We're still not ready to go with the Big Puma handle yet.
Black Nathan has thrown down the gauntlet and we all agree: if you steal 30 bases this season, we will all preach the gospel that Fat Elvis is dead and buried. Pretty sweet, right? I mean, you've already got 7 and can make that number if they give you the green light and we really do feel that this will prove your game is truly...what did you say? "Sleek and atheltic."
So get to it and keep knocking balls into the stratosphere especially like you did today when we raged back from a 6 run defecit and you carried us over the edge in the ninth. We wish you the best.
Sincerely, The Entire Please Kill Yourself Staff
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