Hey Cubs fans! Newsflash: YOU ARE NOT CURSED. Let me say that again (Biden-esque,) YOU ARE NOT CURSED.
Your team cannot perform under pressure. That's all. You are not capable of positive production offensively, and apparently your infielders can't play fundamental hit, catch, and throw baseball when in a pinch and need to get out of an inning. Your two stud aces have a knack for walking runners in a time of needing to retire the side and the coaching staff cannot seem to rally and focus the team away from the inevitable ESPN 360 degree coverage of the potential choke that you will no doubt succumb to and blame on a cat, goat, or ill seated fan.
There is no curse. You just have a B+ squad in the A+ division of the National League. You got lucky this year. Best record? I'll hand you that. Congrats. But it does not mean anything when the second season starts up. As evident by the the Brewers, Angels and you guys.
You guys? You are the lovable losers for Christ's sake. Your postseason drought is only 20 years more than the Indians. Shit. Given life expectancy, you all are in the same boat. Get over yourself. The Red Sox were thought to be cursed too. Guess what? They just started going dollar for dollar with the Yanks and look what it got em. Now their fans are just as arrogant and obnoxious as Yankee fans (Ed note: I hope I'm excluded from that broad brushstroke). Except they act like they have ALWAYS been this good.
It was a good post season for you guys. While it lasted. At least you still have the Bears and Bulls...