Greetings All,
Sorry for the hiatus but I have been getting pounded at work like a D cupped corn fed Midwesterner trying to cover her tuition. Working seven to seven for three weeks straight can get to you. By the time I get home it's dinner, shower, and hit the rack. Now I know what Loverboy was singing about. But when you have to go in on the weekend...
Anyhow- Be it work, or the medium rare ordered but rare prepared steak from Sunday night, I found myself out of commission yesterday. I was good to go by noon, but calling in sick rewards you the entire day and damn it- I was taking it. So I decided that I was going to get my level 45 in CoD4 maxed out to 55. Yeah. I got to 47. I lasted all of about three hours.
Mind you that it was not because of my lack of skill or getting "p'wnd" by the kids on XBL. No, it was because of the sheer idiotic and offensive drivel that was being bantered back and forth among the predominantly unemployed white teen stoners that populate Live during my regular office hours. Forgive me. The following is from memory, but it is fairly spot on...
UrmomsBF69: Dood. (sound of gurgling water) *cough, cough* So. Dood. Like. Dood. *cough, cough* So. Who. Do. You think. *cough* Who do you fuckin' think is gonna get fuckin' elected fuckin' president dood?
EleetSnyper9er: Probly dat nigga one. They gonna assassinate his fuckin' ass. I know thay don't be wonton no girl up be runnin' this muthafucka. Ssshhhhhiiiitt. Bitch be going to fuckin' war an shit cuz she be a raggin' and shit.
UrmomsBF69: Right on man, right on. True dat. *cough, cough* I ain't old enough to vote but I wouldn't if I could anyway, dood. Fuck that shit man. Stupid.
Wow.
And they wonder why mainstream media feels like this when it comes to gamers. Way to buck the system there fellas. Don't perpetuate the stereotype or anything.
A few weeks back (as I do every few years,) I changed my Gamertag to Mike Damone. It's better than what it was (Victory Pickle, seriously- I don't know what I was thinking...) and I tend to get less annoying shit from fellow gamers with a moniker that is a movie reference as opposed to some VeggieTales superhero reject. But, surprisingly enough, I am amazed at how vague and utterly unknown the reference is regarding my new online persona. I figured given the age and audience, people would get it. Boy was I wrong. People initially assume it is your real name because it is so normal compared to Victory Pickle or say Stickybudsmkr1983. So that I understand. I get the mispronouncing. With a real life last name like Steininger, this is nothing new.
How on earth have so many participants in the hobby of what is the epitome of the slacker lifestyle never heard of or seen Fast Times at Ridgemont High? This question coming from a former stoner himself. If you are 12-15 years of age I'll give you a pass. But, any older than that and you should know that it is required viewing for resident stoners along with Fear and Loathing, Dazed and Confused, The Wall, The Big Lebowski, Strange Brew, any Cheech and Chong (especially Nice Dreams,) Half Baked, The Stoned Age, and BioDome. For good measure, you better have a copy of Dark Side to sync with The Wizard of Oz too...
I'll give Seth Rogan credit, but McLovin is not the be all end all of comedy, people. Geez.
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2 comments:
i like this one, a lot. i had a recent conversation with a coworker who is still in high school. it's strange how when i was in high school, there were certain standards you had to meet in oreder to be accepted into the covenant created by other stoners. it's a let down. these kid have never heard of andy warhol. they don't even know about the stoned age. fast times? good luck with that. you probably couldn't even get one of these twirps to sit through it because ''the music sucks'' and ''look at the guys outfit'' now, even when i don't smoke pot, i still consider myself a stoner. (granted, i am currently in full effect) i have no comraderie with these kids. fucking posers. (do they even use that word anymore?)
I have Fast Times on VHS. I don't think it plays anymore. Hey, Dannie- remember when we rode to school in the back of Ryan Hughes' van? It had no seats in the back, but there were plenty of cigarettes, zig zags, and pipes back there. Oh, the stoner days! I swear, every morning was like the scene with Sean Penn falling out of the van and weed smoke billowing out. Ha!
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