Thursday, January 3, 2008
Waiting for Sunday
Sunday is going to a be a pretty interesting day for Roger Clemens' legal staff. They'll be scouring every utterance in the upcoming 60 Minutes interview to see if something other than a needle filled with Decadurabolin can come back to bite him in the ass. As I wrote before here a few days ago (which now seems to be surfacing on the major sports sites today. Wierd. It's not like I didn't just rip that shit from an MLB sponsored website.), McNamee is going to take legal action against the Roidcket if he spouts the same bullshit he's been spouting since the Mitchell Report broke. But wait, the journalistic savior known as Mike Wallace will surely ask the hard hitting questions and won't hesitate to make Roger squirm. Right? Well, Gene Wojciechowski of Espn.com doesn't think it's gonna turn out that way. Or at least he has an inkling Wallace will not cave to his bro-mantic feelings for Clemens. And I completely agree. Wojo thinks it might end up a little like this (oh and props to a sports writer not named Bill Simmons for dropping ridiculous pop-culture references in the middle of a rant. More of you fuckers need to start doing that): Wallace: "Remember that time in 1998, when you were pitching for the Toronto Blue Jays, and you started 6-6, and then all of a sudden you finished 14-0 for the rest of the season, and your ERA dropped from 3.27 to 2.29, and that guy McNamee was your trainer?" Clemens: "Yeah. So what?" Wallace: "That was awwwwwwsome." Mike Wallace is pretty much the brother from another mother to Suzyn Waldman. Anyone who spends that much time in Darth Steinbrenner's luxury suite in the Bronx should really not be the one to interview someone with the same bonerific affection for the Evil Empire (remember kids, the Roidcket won't show up for his now iffy Cooperstown induction if he ain't got a Yanks hat on the plaque). Apparently, when Clemens and his attorney's were trying to figure out who could suck his dick, stroke his ego and never think to question his bullshit defense (B-12 and a painkiller) they WERE going to go with Waldman. Of course, they realised that something like this might happen and that would only exacerbate the absurdness that is to appear onscreen.